Is your spouse a negative person? He or she is always zero on what is wrong with you, and marriage with a positive view of many?
If so, it is also possible that your spouse is just a negative person-oriented than most other things - work, marriage, other people, the future and life in general. Perhaps over time, your spouse is still negative, critical and complaining.
When I first talked to "Leigh" (not her real name), wasready to leave her marriage because her husband's constant negativity. "Al" was a master blames Leigh decisions and proposals. He had a keen mind and was able to provide Zingers without batting an eye.
When Leigh suggested a picnic, Al responded with complaints about the dangers of fire ants, killer bees, and sudden storms. Every time I made a suggestion, it would be the talk about what was wrong with the idea and why it should not work.
If he does not agree to go ahead withLeigh have ideas or suggestions, you always expect the worst or spoke of the negative aspects. In addition, Al was very critical.
The restaurant tried was "too expensive", the dinner conversation with friends was "too boring", Mon t have many is "too long", a camping weekend was "too much work", a gift from a family member was "stingy," and people in the church she attended were "hypocrites." His head is "an idiot", his work "sucks", and his life is "thePits. "
As a negative attitude is highly contagious, was the challenge to the Leigh and usually do not lose the positive orientation. Often I felt exhausted and drained in the spirit of their interactions with Al when he realized that it was always negative, while growing up, and began to resent his attitude, he consulted with me.
Eight steps to overcome the negativity
If you are in the same situation - married with a spouse with a negativeAttitude - I'd give you the same advice I gave Leigh. Here's what you can do:
First awareness to cultivate friendships with other people and couples who have a positive attitude and fun to be together. Try to expand your spouse and friends for couples who are good role models for your partner and want to spend time with counting pairs.
Reduce spending time with friends, to encourage your spouse's negative comments and attitudes andslowly over time trying to individuals and couples who have a strong positive influence added.
2 make sure that their friends, activities, hobbies and interests have in your life that is "Feed Your Soul" and help with a trace of positive living. If marriage is not what you want, then they need to find joy and satisfaction in other areas to keep you centered and emotionally balanced.
Listen to inspire songs and read books of inspiration. "Feed" themselves on a diet ofpositive messages, encourage and motivate.
3 Monitor your moods, be sure that you do not get up, what are commonly called "co-dependency" issues at stake. This is when you leave your state of mind determined and established by someone else.
An example would be if you were depressed all day because your spouse was in a bad mood at breakfast. Just because it is in a funk does not mean you're not a pleasant day. Do not let your mood Friend determine your state of mindor ruin your day.
Do not give your personal power. Accept responsibility for creating your own luck, rather than so influenced by negative attitude of the spouse.
Keep fourth gratitude journal, where list of what you are grateful for each day. Form the habit of sharing with your spouse the things they are grateful. At dinner, for example, could be helpful as the staff of the supermarket was to speak or say favor of an employee who is for youappreciate.
If you look grateful for a beautiful bird or a beautiful flowering tree, please share your feelings. If you think you divide it by the kindness of a friend, be blessed. Even if what you say does not affect your partner, you've never heard of gratitude and appreciation for the gifts you received. This helps you stay focused on what is right with your life instead of what is wrong.
5 Do not try to judge your spouse or make him or her "wrong" because they are soThere are many negative factors that can influence the attitude of a person. attitudes they have learned from their parents, their experiences of growth, low self-esteem, intense stress, depression, a dress, negative self-talk, the life of disappointment and discouragement and hopelessness.
Sometimes people who have negative thoughts, are "realistic" or used to "call a spade a spade". Others may think that are fun for the supply of smart "Zingers" andCriticism.
6 schedule a time to speak with your partner about your concerns. Judges or without sound "educational" to give some concrete examples of how she (or her) was coined much negativity. Perhaps your spouse is not aware of what has become a negative, or maybe she is depressed and needs to talk with their doctor or consultant.
If your spouse responds with anger, stay calm and not defensive. State your feelings now that you preferas they did smolder underground and cause even more problems later.
7 If nothing changes after you talked with your spouse, you write about him (or her) in a letter to your feelings and concerns about your reactions to his negative attitude. State with which you can look forward to the interactions and time with his wish, but you're afraid of the negative constant is ultimately your emotions.
In the letter, tell your spouse that you appreciate it and your marriage, and thatLove him deeply. Ask your partner to go to marriage counseling with you so that your marriage will remain strong and mutually satisfying.
8 If the spouse is not willing to talk about the problem with you or agree to address recommendations, then make an appointment with a consultant to see for ourselves. You will need support and help you determine exactly what the next step must- try again, to communicate verbally or in writing, or trying to adapt and live with things as they are, orin an extreme case, if we consider a temporary separation of marriage.
Need to get a deep commitment to be positive and optimistic, to withstand the strong negative relationship in your marriage. The good news is that, according to Robert H. Schuller: "It takes one positive thought as to overwhelm the ability to survive and thrive, an army of negative thoughts."
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