It's So Nice to Have a Man Around the House

"It's so nice to have a man around the house," as the old song croons. It has been years since I could boast that plus in my life. Oh yes, I have been married to Mr. Wonderful for 28 years now, but he can't do a thing and he doesn't want to pay anyone to do it for us. So guess who is the lucky handyman around our house. ME.

Just in a 24 hour period he broke our sun umbrella spoke while trying to open it. This morning while making coffee he lost the little do-hickey at the bottom of the filter cone and the coffee now runs everywhere except into the coffee pot. Not to mention that this is the second coffee maker he has so destroyed.

One afternoon I opened the microwave to find this mysterious carmel-looking stuff all over the inside of the unit. On closer inspection, I saw that it continued on to the glass top stove, and even went further onto the floor. Knowing my husband was guilty, I finally got him to admit that he was trying to loosen the cap of our big Gorilla glue in the microwave and it exploded! An attempt to get it out of there resulted in it permanently adhering to everywhere it landed.

A friend of ours got us a can of acetone that has been sitting in the kitchen for a year now. My husband has not yet tried to see if it will remove the hardened glue! So I have gotten used to my carmel-spotted microwave insides and daily pick at the drops on the stove to no avail. I refuse to acetone on my own!

My children say I deserve angel wings because of my Mr. Magoo husband, but who would want him if I send him packing with an instruction book for the next owner? Young girls would not understand the manual and old independent gals like me would understand what goes with him and put him back on the shelf. What to do except understand that I have a six year old in a grownup's body. Oh well, guess I'll go for a swim and let the endorphins roll in and hope the house is there when I get back.

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